Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Several humans suggest having a
competition
at work
, school and in basic life
is a nice thing. Others say working in a company is more beneficial than training each other. Although
competition
teaches people
to be individuals in life
which helps in exams or things like that, cooperating teaches a person to work
in a group. Also
, when humans work
together they will share their life
experiments and correct each other's mistakes.
In the world humans a lot of times was in competition
during their lives. Consist in the Olympics helps students improve their minds and this
is one of the best things because they will pass exams only with brains. For instance
, after graduating school applicants will be competitive to enter the university, so at this
time they should use only their knowledge or their own life
experiences. Also
, where there is competition
there is growth.
Many people
cooperate which is very beneficial to improve their weak sides. When people
work
with a partner who is smarter than them they can notice their partner's mistakes and correct them together. For example
, secondary students can help the freshman students to do presentations that they are not professional in this
field, or share with lifehacks which they found out during their first study years. Also
, many people
will be improved by cooperation.
In conclusion, people
should rely only on themselves, because for
whole their lives they can not live without other's advice or feedback. Each person should have their Change preposition
apply
life
experiences.Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines both points of view that you will be discussing. Currently, your introduction mixes personal opinion too early.
task achievement
Expand your main arguments with more relevant specific examples. This will help clarify your points and make your essay more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Improve the use of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your essay. Utilize words like 'Additionally', 'Moreover', or 'However' to connect your ideas better.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure and grammar to avoid fragmented sentences and ensure clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which is essential for coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You have effectively mentioned both viewpoints regarding competition and cooperation, which is critical for task achievement.
task achievement
The examples you provided, such as competition improving minds and cooperation benefiting weaker students, are well-chosen and relevant.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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