IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a debate over which is the best
way
Use synonyms
 of living, with some saying battling at the workplace and at
school
Use synonyms
 is the optimal
way
Use synonyms
 of living, and others arguing that we have to
work
Use synonyms
 cooperatively,
instead
Linking Words
 of competing with each other.
Although
Linking Words
 the battle somewhere else has some benefits, cooperative working still remains the most effective
way
Use synonyms
 to live as it can help to get better
results
Use synonyms
. Competitive
work
Use synonyms
 has its own advantages at the workplace and at
school
Use synonyms
 in some cases. To explain
this
Linking Words
, when you
work
Use synonyms
 competitively against your colleagues, you try to use your full potential in order to get a reward which is placed.
For example
Linking Words
, in the Forex company, executives organize a competition among workers, afterwards, every co-worker uses all of their potential to win a prize.
Therefore
Linking Words
, a competitive lifestyle at the workplace, and at
school
Use synonyms
 is a good aspect for employees which
motivate
Correct subject-verb agreement
motivates
show examples
 them to
work
Use synonyms
 harder.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 trend in some cases is not suitable for
people
Use synonyms
.
Instead
Linking Words
, cooperatively working is better.
This
Linking Words
way
Use synonyms
 of living can help
people
Use synonyms
 to gain better
results
Use synonyms
 by working with a group of individuals.
For instance
Linking Words
, when you
work
Use synonyms
 in a company and have your team to
work
Use synonyms
 with, you have to
work
Use synonyms
 with them collectively in order to make better
results
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, working cooperatively can elevate
people
Use synonyms
 to a better position in their
way
Use synonyms
 of living.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
competitions
Fix the agreement mistake
competition
show examples
 at
work
Use synonyms
 and at
school
Use synonyms
 are the factors
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 can help
people
Use synonyms
 to use their full potential with motivation, a cooperative
way
Use synonyms
 of living is the best
way
Use synonyms
 to get better
results
Use synonyms
 in daily life.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make sure to clearly define the terms 'competition' and 'cooperation' in your introduction to guide the reader's understanding.
coherence
Try to use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance fluency and readability.
task achievement
You have provided examples to support your points, which adds depth to your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
What to do next:
Look at other essays: