IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that open it in one country between 2011 in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons were relevant.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that open it in one country between 2011 in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons were relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line chart below presents the
number
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 of opened and closed
shops
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 from 2011 to 2018.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the
shops
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.
started
Correct pronoun usage
that started

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
 to open over seven years were
fluctuative
Correct your spelling
fluctuating

If you don’t want fluctuative to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the closed ones.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the market places closed had more
fluctuated
Replace the word
fluctuation

The word fluctuated doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
 than
the
Correct your spelling
they

The word the doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
 opened markets. As can be seen in the figure,
in
Change preposition
from

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
 2011 to 2012, the closed market decreased slightly, after that it increased for about 1000
shops
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 in 2013, yet it declined again from 2013 to 2015 until it
fallen
Add the auxiliary verb
fell
has fallen

The past participle verb fallen has been used without an auxiliary verb. Consider adding one or using the past simple instead.

show examples
 down significantly in 2015 to the point of
less
Change the quantifier
fewer

It appears that the quantifier less does not fit with the countable noun shops. Consider changing the quantifier or the noun.

show examples
 than 1000
shops
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. After that, it increased significantly in 2016 and
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was

It seems that the verb were does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
 slightly stable
in
Change preposition
from

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
 2016 to 2018. With regards to the
number
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 of opened markets,
in
Change preposition
from

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
 2011 to 2012, the
number
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 was fallen down
drasrically
Correct your spelling
drastically

If you don’t want drasrically to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

from 8.500 to 4000, yet it increased gradually from 2012 to 2014.
Finally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the
number
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 becomes declined gradually
during
Change preposition
from

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
 2014 to 2018.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, shops with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: