어떤 사람들은 그림이나 소묘와 같은 예술품을 고등학생에게 의무화할 수 있다고 말한다. 어느 정도 동의하거나 동의하지 않습니까?
Many
people
Use synonyms
believed
that Wrong verb form
believe
arts
courses Use synonyms
such
as painting or drawing should be required for high Linking Words
school
adolescents. From my perspective, I totally concur with Use synonyms
this
statement owing to the following demonstrations.
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Firstly
, there is no doubt that Linking Words
arts
curricula like painting or drawing should be made mandatory for secondary Use synonyms
school
students. Because taking an entertainment class Use synonyms
such
as Linking Words
art
and music has an effect on students’ minds positively. It might enhance students’ creativity and imagination. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, learning Linking Words
arts
subject may keep adolescents in good mental health and give them happiness. Use synonyms
For example
, based on Seoul University research surveys in 2009, It turned out that there was room for improvement in Emotional Quotient if Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
take
Wrong verb form
took
art
classes. For these reasons, teens should be learning obligatory to design Use synonyms
such
as painting or drawing.
Linking Words
Secondly
, Linking Words
art
classes might benefit teens. Use synonyms
This
is because some Linking Words
people
who are student could realize their own special gift. Use synonyms
Linking Words
Furthermore
if Add a comma
Furthermore,
art
courses Use synonyms
have
an influence on high Wrong verb form
had
school
studentsUse synonyms
negatively
, Rephrase
apply
people
would have not sought to make them compulsory Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
apply
them
. Correct pronoun usage
apply
For example
, some Linking Words
country
enact a law that entertainment Fix the agreement mistake
countries
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
such
as physical Linking Words
and
music and Correct word choice
apply
arts
should Use synonyms
make
obligatory for Wrong verb form
be made
student
. Fix the agreement mistake
students
Hence
Linking Words
art
courses Use synonyms
such
as design should be obligatory for secondary Linking Words
school
students.
In conclusion, there are a lot of benefits when a student should learn essential Use synonyms
art
classes. Use synonyms
Especially it
will keep teens in good mental health and give them enjoyment. Rephrase
It
Hence
, I believe that Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
art
Use synonyms
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
such
as painting or drawing should be made required for adolescentsLinking Words
Submitted by isacckira on
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