IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

it is the responsibility of schools to teach children good behaviours in addition to providing formal education. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#responsibility #schools #children #behaviours #addition #education
there is a current debate surrounding whether
schools
 need to take responsibility for educating children about good personalities
in addition
 to the provision of formal education. personally, I hold the belief that both
parents
 and
schools
 should make a contribution to teaching youngsters a decent attitude. on the one hand, it is true that
schools
 play an important role in the formation of a good demeanour among youngsters. most students take part in school in order to enrich their academic knowledge .
however
, institutions
also
 need to provide training on morality to ensure the quality of their students.
for example
, in
Viet Nam
Correct your spelling
Vietnam
show examples
, civics has become one of the main subjects at
schools
 with a view to teaching children about the essence of decent behaviours in both their professional and private activities.
therefore
, it is believed that the department needs to be responsible for the schooling of a good personality
due to
 its importance in their future lives.
on the other hand
,
parents
' responsibility in teaching Scion a good attitude needs to be taken into consideration. it is worth mentioning that
parents
 accompany their heirs throughout their lives, so they have a significant effect on their offspring, especially in the formation of personalities.
consequently
,
parents
 need to set strict rules and discipline to teach their offspring about morality, which would be pivotal for their lives. without the assistance of adults, the careful education of
schools
 in decent personalities among children is likely to be ineffective.
As a result
, students are unable to become good citizens, who can contribute to an ideal society. in conclusion, I am of the opinion that the responsibility of faculty in the teaching of good behaviours needs to be taken into account with the support of
parents
.
Submitted by bobong120906 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea and supports it fully. Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
task response
Provide a clear opinion on the question and ensure that all main points directly relate to the topic. Use specific examples and reasons to support your ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: