IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

“Prevention is better than cure”. Researching and treating disease is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree.

#“prevention #cure” #disease #measures
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In my opinion to agree or disagree with
this
 statement that Prevention is better than cure”. Researching and treating disease is too expensive so it would be best to invest in preventative measures. is an important issue to discuss. First , l will present some agreement supporting
this
 description , after which some aspects against that will be discussed. On the one hand agree with
this
 statement for many critical reasons the most crucial is that health is important in your live it depends to people daily routine .
According to
 , it is quite interesting care costly everything. The disease sometimes cost the live . should be eating and drinking every think have benefits  Cost-effectiveness: Preventive measures are often less expensive than the cost of treating or dealing with a problem once it has developed. It's generally more economical to invest in preventive strategies upfront. Easier management: It's typically easier to prevent a problem from arising in the first place rather than trying to solve a complex issue that has already taken root. Improved outcomes: Preventive approaches can help avoid the negative consequences or damages that would result from a problem.
This
 can lead to better
overall
 outcomes and quality of life. Reduced burden: Preventing problems can alleviate the personal, social, and healthcare burdens that would
otherwise
 arise from having to address and manage those issues.
This
 principle is applicable in various domains,
such
 as personal health, workplace safety, environmental protection, financial planning, and more. By focusing on preventive measures, individuals and organizations can be proactive in addressing potential challenges and minimizing the need for reactive, often more difficult and costly, solutions.
Submitted by um.maktoum2014 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a clearer structure. Try to divide it into paragraphs, each focusing on a specific point. For example, one paragraph could explain the benefits of prevention, and another could address the potential drawbacks or challenges of focusing solely on prevention.
task achievement
While you have presented some good points, make sure to fully develop each idea with relevant examples and clear explanations. This will help in presenting a more comprehensive and convincing argument.
task achievement
You have identified an important issue and provided a balanced view by discussing both support and opposition to the statement.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical flow and covers several relevant points related to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: