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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The charts show the main methods of transport of people travelling to one university in 2004 and 2009. Summarise the information be selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts show the main methods of transport of people travelling to one university in 2004 and 2009. Summarise the information be selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The charts illustrate crucial vehicles which students were using to get to their college between 2004 and 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, it shows five different ways of moving around, where the usage of cars and buses seemed to be the most popular but the trains were used the least. In 2004 a car was the best method of transport to use, which
estimated
Correct article usage
an estimated
show examples
of
Change preposition
at
show examples
 51%.
Where
Correct word choice
Whereas
show examples
 in 2009 it dropped to 28%. When, in 2004, the usage of buses consist of 33% and 5 years later it increased to 46%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 trains in 2004 were only 3% of all the transport which have been used. Which stayed almost the same in 2009, rising up to 4%.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
 similar thing happened with walking, which was 4% and a few years later happened to be 6%.
Finally
Linking Words
, in 2004 4% of society used to walk, which in 2009 increased to 6%, which was not a huge change

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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