In this technological era, personal information is stored on computers by many companies and organisations. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
With an ever-increasing concern about how to handle electronic personal
data
storage
issues, some individuals may have opined that cloud storage
has an inevitable advantage. This
essay will, however
, provide some reasons why I strongly believe electronic data
processing exerts a negative effect on corporations
.
To begin
with, some individuals may argue that electronic data
conversion offers more advantages. Since electronic data
storage
allows corporations
to use fewer resources such
as paper, toner, printers and human labour needed to organize the printed documents, they can maximize their profits by storing data
on computers. Moreover
, reducing the consumption of natural resources leads to environmentally sustainable corporations
which bring eco-friendly images that help to have favourable brand portraits to the public. Therefore
, those corporations
can benefit from the activated implementation of electronic information storage
.
Despite the reasons mentioned above, I completely contend that this
trend will ultimately deteriorate the entire society in the long term. Providing a few agreements on previous opinions, and moving to other oppositions can illuminate a different perspective. Relying on personal data
on computers puts citizens exposed to online crimes due to
the greater number of attempts to hack a corporation’s databases by digital hackers. For instance
, when Korea’s most popular web search engine Naver was hacked, it allowed 240,000 citizens’ personal data
to be exposed to identity theft and voice phishing crimes. Considering that the risk of being hacked by hackers can lead to a huge amount of financial loss and losing trust from clients will have a massive impact on business.
In conclusion, some individuals think that cloud storage
on computers has more benefits. Nevertheless
, I strongly believe that more consideration of other parties’ facing issues should be taken into account to achieve more sustainable advantages.Submitted by rachael0124 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic well and presents a clear stance. However, some of the arguments could be further expanded to provide more depth, particularly in discussing the disadvantages. Consider providing additional specific examples or theoretical perspectives.
coherence cohesion
There are small grammatical errors and occasional awkward phrasing that slightly affect the clarity of your arguments. Pay attention to these to ensure your ideas are communicated more precisely.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and well-structured introduction and conclusion, which effectively summarize your stance.
task achievement
You provided specific examples, such as the Naver incident in Korea, to support your main points. This helps to make your arguments more convincing and relevant.