Some people think students should be encouraged to work or travel after finishing secondary education and before starting university. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Share your own experience and examples.

#people #students #work #travel #education #university

Numerous people believe that pupils ought to be inspired to

work

or travel when they complete secondary education prior to starting university. I personally agree with

this

statement. Because It will help students bring a more beautiful life into their life to live longer and healthier,

as well as

they can learn soft skills via communication and learning

English

. We will discuss these statements below.

Firstly

, when they conclude their study with secondary education, that's time they need to rethink themself, they

also

need to create an orientation

Change preposition

of who

show examples

who

Change the pronoun

whom

show examples

they want to be in the future through travelling.

For example

, they had to go abroad to oversee what the world looks like and it helps them to affirm that other countries are more developed than their country, since

then

they will have a goal and bucket list for their life to bring the best prospect to their country.

Thus

they will become residents who make a valuable contribution to their country.

Secondly

, nowadays we live in the 21st century and technology is spread throughout the world. It makes people sit close together and

work

together easily. But,

English

is an essential skill for folks to run a business smoothly, we can't

work

with foreigners without the

English

language.

Thus

, they will need to learn it prior to starting university and even more start-up businesses.

For instance

, travellers can learn some languages

such

English

, France and other cultures

while

they are travelling.

Therefore

, travelling help them to know

Add an article

the

show examples

Western and oriental culture, and it will help them grasp opportunities to

work

with foreigners. They will become global citizens. In conclusion, students need to have a tour to transit to some countries to take opportunities to expand their knowledge and increase soft skills via communication, learning

English

to get

this

uncommon chance to

work

with foreigners and discover the culture as well.

Submitted by nguyenhungvy090499 on Tue Apr 18 2023

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

311 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think students should be encouraged to work or travel after finishing secondary education and before starting university. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Share your own experience and examples.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

People nowadays are spending more time at the work place and it is argued this is a problem for family life.To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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