These days, older people who have retired often choose to spend money on themselves (for example on holidays) rather than save money for their children. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #money #holidays #children #development

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Nowadays, it has become a popular trend to invest in the well-being of future generations.

While

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some

people

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think

this

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is a good demonstration of care for their heir, I argue that

children

Use synonyms

should be completely self-responsible for their financial state. One of the reasons why

people

Use synonyms

devote themselves to work at a young age is to enjoy life when they become older.

However

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, they are only losing

this

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opportunity by spending their preserved money on their

children

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Instead

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, they deserve to utilise their finance to realise some of their dreams.

For example

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, they can traverse the world, visit famous sights, go to the cinema etc.

Moreover

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, when young

people

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are not backed up by their parents in financial terms, they feel more responsibility.

Instead

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of living in their parent's pockets, their heir will start earning for living by themselves, study to improve their skills and aspire for a better career in the future.

As a result

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, they will continuously progress in their earnings and develop as self-sufficient individuals.

Additionally

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, by having enough money,

children

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can

also

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contribute to the well-being of their parents.

Thus

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, by limiting the amount of money they give their

children

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, older

people

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will effectively ensure a better future for the next generations.

To conclude

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, it is commonly believed that the elderly should feel responsible for the financial support of their heir.

However

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, I hold the belief that young

people

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should not be fully supported by their parents to give them room for self-improvement and to ensure that they grow as financially independent individuals.

Submitted by jaker.raimov on Tue Apr 18 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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These days, older people who have retired often choose to spend money on themselves (for example on holidays) rather than save money for their children. Is this a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

It is often argued that as nuclear technology threatens the peace of the world, it should be restricted.

Many people no longer read newspapers or watch TV news programmes. Instead they get news about the world from the Internet. Is this a positive or negative development?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compare with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries it is now illigal to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?