Recent advances in medicine have resulted in an increase in life expectancy over the past four years. Do you think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#advances #medicine #life #expectancy #four #years

With the advancement of healthcare, populations today can live much longer

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

compared to the past.

While

people

generally find

this

trend appealing, I would argue that by prolonging human

life

, modern

medicine

has resulted in the emergence of a wide spectre of problems that the world needs to deal with today. In terms of individual well-being, contemporary

medicine

certainly improved the quality of

life

. It frequently helps to prevent early death cases in the population,

thus

, resulting in increased levels of trust in healthcare among

people

For example

, extreme health hazards like cancer or heart attack can be more effectively combatted with contemporary treatments.

Furthermore

, some modern techniques in

medicine

now find a cure for some diseases thought to be unrelievable previously.

Thus

, it can be said with confidence that today's healthcare is much more reliable than before.

However

, on a

large-scale

Correct your spelling

large scale

show examples

, increasing

life

expectancy resulting from improved

medicine

raises large sets of issues. One of its adverse effects is overpopulation, which has become one of the most significant concerns in the world in recent years. As

people

live longer lives, the population on Earth is increasing at a rapid rate. Another issue

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

arises is relevant to the economy of a country. With the increasing proportion of older

people

in society, governments must allocate a large portion of their budget to distribute pensions.

Due to

this

, the economy of many countries is suffering, and,

as a result

, governments are increasing the minimum age for retirement. In a nutshell, contemporary

medicine

has generally improved the quality of

life

worldwide.

However

, in the long term,

this

may cause the Earth to become overpopulated and governments struggling to pay pensions.

Submitted by jaker.raimov on Tue Apr 18 2023

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task response

Ensure that the introduction clearly presents your position on the topic and provides an overview of the main points that will be discussed in the essay. In the conclusion, summarize the key points and restate your position to ensure a cohesive structure.

coherence and cohesion

Work on providing more specific examples and detailed explanations to support your main points. This will help in developing a more comprehensive and coherent argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

life expectancy
chronic diseases
economic growth
workforce
community service activities
healthcare costs
aging population
elder care services
intergenerational tensions
medical and technological innovations
family dynamics
elderly relatives
healthier and active lives
social implications

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Recent advances in medicine have resulted in an increase in life expectancy over the past four years. Do you think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Student must have roommate in college/university, but there are some problems with each other. Discuss about problems and solutions for these problems.

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Do you agree with gun possession in public to protect lives ?

some people say that it is better to promote healthy lifestyles than spend so much money to treat obese people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?