Some people think that we live in a society where money and possessions are given too much importance. Others believe that his is improving our lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #society #money #possessions #importance #lives

Nowadays,

money

and possessions are important to many

people

because they can get anything they desire as soon as possible.

However

, others think there are more important

values

in their life. I believe

money

isn't the key but it can solve problems easier I proudly say that most

values

are more important than

money

People

who care about

money

, mostly think problems could be disappeared from

money

and they are not completely wrong.

For example

, if a rich

person

becomes sick, he doesn't think about how to cost treatment is,

on the other hand

, a poor

person

may think healthcare service is expensive.

This

thought is similar to other topics,

such

as education, accommodation or entertainment.

While

someone who has

money

, is getting everything, others just watching. In the contrast, wealth may not be enough to be an answer to all of the problems. Many high-value companies or a few individuals are damaging

Correct article usage

the planet

show examples

planet

Change the noun form

planets

show examples

more than the rest of the world because they don't care about the

planet

or the next generations. Any

person

can not buy a new

planet

In addition

values

irrelevant to wealth like love, kindness, pride, being generous, etc. I believe those are way more important than being rich.

Overall

, many times

money

talks and a

person

probably live an easier life with more

money

However

, if that

person

damages the environment and lacks

values

, it is pointless. As we live together on

this

planet

, we have to care for each other.

Otherwise

while

some

people

just having fun, others live in terrible conditions and all the

people

are responsible for that.

Submitted by ebeyza34 on Tue Apr 18 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that we live in a society where money and possessions are given too much importance. Others believe that his is improving our lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Fully explain your ideas

At the present time the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that money is one of the most essential factor in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute toward happiness?

more and more people tend to procrastinate in tasks these days. Some people think procrastination is the prime reason for the failure in life. Do you agree or disagree

Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that young people learn useful skills by playing electronic and computer games. Others say that young people who play electronic and computer games are wasting their time.both these views and give your own opinion.