IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #university #study #lack #workers #electricians #plumbers
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Whilst academic study is highly valued by the majority of students, I personally agree with those who suggest the equivalent importance of vocational training, which could cultivate qualified
workers
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, it is inevitable that academic education could cultivate talents in different professional fields,
such
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 as the aspects of medicine and science.
For example
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, people who have high academic education are more likely to come out with solutions regarding current issues, including the treatment for rare diseases and the countermeasures to reduce environmental pollution, including air pollution derived from
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 high density of population in cities.
On the other hand
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, I am in favour of encouraging students to gain practical skills from vocational training
due to
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 various positive impacts. First of all, it helps societies to foster
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 incremental population of skilled
workers
Use synonyms
, which could satisfy the demands for employees as
such
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 in workplaces.
Secondly
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, individuals with skills could have more work opportunities, which could lower the unemployment rate in a nation.
For instance
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, many commercial institutions in Taiwan cooperate with the government to provide various financial supports and internships for students of vocational training since it is considered one of the fastest and most efficient methods to cultivate qualified employees. To summarise, it is true that academic education is crucial to provoke exports in certain areas,
however
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, the value of short period courses for cultivating skilled
workers
Use synonyms
 should not be overlooked since it plays an essential role to ensure a functional society with skilled
workers
Use synonyms
 in construction or health care system.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • skilled workers
  • vocational training
  • academic study
  • qualified
  • electricians
  • plumbers
  • technicians
  • hands-on experience
  • job market
  • infrastructure
  • economy
  • unemployment rates
  • consumer spending
  • educational paths
  • job satisfaction
  • societal resilience
  • versatile workforce
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