Countries with long working days are more successful economically, but there are some negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, especially in
this
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century, the mode of working and
hours
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spent in offices has increased drastically. Though
this
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contributes to a booming economy, it has its downsides. I will be discussing both proponents' and opponents' views on
this
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in detail.
Hence
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, in my opinion, I agree with the topic and will give my points in
this
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essay Let's discuss the disadvantages of extended
work
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hours
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. Long
work
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hours
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and extra
time
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halt the performance of an individual.
For example
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, there have been studies carried out around the world to compare nations that give importance to an employee's well-being and mental health. The survey found out that the places where employees
work
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less
time
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are more efficient and have amazing
work
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-life balance.
Similarly
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, a worker can get
work
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done completely if given a deadline. To give you my idea, let's take Japan which comes in the top rich countries around the world, many employees working for increased amounts of
time
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reported having a miserable life.
Likewise
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, China which comes on the highest GDP per capita has the same situation where long working
hours
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are even making people suicide because of how disturbed they were. Most
the
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apply
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Asian countries have the same trend in terms of offices' way of doing business and there is no doubt that they are quite successful, yet they report the same issues. A person cannot give
time
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to their families and socialise properly if they are coming back from
work
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so late which leads to unhappiness.
In addition
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, the individual cannot socialise properly and does not look forward to
work
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In conclusion, there are many downsides to working for an extended period of
time
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. I strongly believe that there should not be
this
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culture in firms and people should be given the liberty to have their own lives, albeit the fact that it contributes to making more money/
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • correlation
  • GDP (Gross Domestic Product)
  • detrimental
  • stress levels
  • strain
  • work-life balance
  • emerging economies
  • unsustainable growth
  • social unrest
  • productivity tools
  • government policies
  • social well-being
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