IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products?

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It is absolutely true that there is a huge difference in the budget of large
business
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 and local
business
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 for promoting and marketing their
business
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as a result
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 many peoples are attracted to buying branded
products
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 rather than the local product. If
people
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 keep on buying branded clothes it will cause serious problems for the local
business
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 holder. Large companies have large funding for the product to introduce in the market
due to
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 which
people
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 end up buying their product and local businessman, Turning to the problems when the expansion of large businesses occurs, the most tangible is the collapse of the local businesses. It is evident that when huge
business
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 entities have exorbitant investments in the marketing and promotion of
products
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, the local ones, which are generally independently owned, usually do not have that much economic might to defend them. Soon or later these firms would suffer heavy loss in the market, and eventually be wiped out. By the way, several steps can solve these problems. One of the easiest ones is to induce the government to promote the value and advantages of local
products
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 over international ones.
Moreover
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, the
products
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 from small provinces or regions are usually more affordable because marketers do not invest as much in marketing as large corporations. So when the customer wants to buy something cheap with high quality, he can look for alternatives from smaller businesses
instead
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 of buying the original version from big companies. At
last
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, another possible solution is to advertise the local sights. In that case, more
people
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 will know about the new provinces: their culture, the locals’ lifestyle, etc.
As a result
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, the local
products
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 will be sold much more often. In conclusion,
it is clear that
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 large companies can retain a number of customers
due to
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 their effective marketing strategy.
However
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, several effective methods can be implemented to encourage
people
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 to endorse the local market.

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Task Achievement
To enhance Task Achievement, ensure you fully respond to all parts of the prompt in a clear, comprehensive manner. While you addressed both problems and solutions, diving deeper into specific examples and elaborating on how these solutions could be practically implemented would strengthen your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, work on logically organizing your paragraphs and making smoother transitions between them. Introducing your main points more clearly at the beginning of each paragraph and then expanding upon these ideas helps guide the reader through your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices beyond 'Moreover', 'So', and 'In conclusion'. Experimenting with synonyms and different sentence structures can make your essay more interesting and easier to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • over-reliance
  • disrupts
  • entrepreneurship
  • economic diversity
  • monopolistic
  • financial power
  • homogenization
  • awareness campaigns
  • tax incentives
  • sustainability
  • artisan
  • eco-friendly
  • dominate
  • innovation
  • stifle
  • richness
  • cultures
  • traditions
  • highlighting
  • distinguish
  • superior
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