IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Nowadays, it is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a large city. Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.

#children #countryside #city
Currently, living in a large
city
 has a significant impact on the lifestyle of people, including
children
. In
this
 essay, I will present two reasons,
children
 should grow up in the
countryside
 than in a large
city
. First of all,
air
 pollution is a major problem large cities have. The constant and increasing use of private vehicles,
such
 as cars and motorcycles has become one of the main sources of atmospheric pollutants like particulate matter and gaseous pollutants.
Furthermore
, the
air
 quality index from the environmental protection agency (EPA), has identified that
children
 are a sensitive population when exposed to high levels of pollutants, so
air
 pollution could be more harmful and present health issues in
children
, at levels that would not affect the adult population.
This
 is why, living in the
countryside
 could be less harmful to the health of
children
 by breathing cleaner
air
.
Secondly
, living in the
countryside
 as
children
 could have a great impact on the adult life of any person, as the
countryside
 can have more natural, and beautiful landscapes. In my case, I grow up in the
countryside
 of a large
city
. There, I learned how to take care of flowers, and important trees that had an extinction threat.
Hence
 I worked in the labours of my family farm,
besides
 the school.
This
 taught me to be responsible and committed since my early years and had the opportunity to grow as a hardworking adult.
Finally
, when I had the chance to be admitted to a bachelor's school, I chose to study ecology to continue what I started as
children
. In summary,
children
 should grow up in the
countryside
 than in a large
city
, because it can be less harmful as large cities are recognized to have an atmospheric pollution problem.
Also
,
children
 can have the opportunity to be more responsible as they can work in the
countryside
 as take care of nature in a world
that is
 destroyed.
Submitted by santiagovalenciacardenas1 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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