IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Poor nutrition and obesity is a problem in many developed countries and some people believe a tax on fast food would reduce the problem. Do you agree? Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #nutrition #obesity #countries #people #tax #food
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Due to
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 changes in our lifestyle
as a consequence
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 of living in a modern world, our eating habits have changed a lot.
People
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 in the past used to eat healthier
food
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 and consume more natural ingredients in their meals, but now they tend to prepare their cuisine as fast as possible, and because of that fast
food
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 is more popular these days. Some
people
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 argue that increasing
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Correct article usage
the tax
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tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
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 on fast
food
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 can decline the desire to eat too much. I somehow agree with the idea but I think we
also
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 need some fast-prepared
foods
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 that are healthy as a replacement.
People
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 tend to eat fast
food
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 because they are cheap and the process to prepare them is fast. Increasing
tax
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 on fast
food
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 will rise the price of them and causes to think more about the money
people
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 spend on them and absolutely make them decrease consuming these unhealthy
foods
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. Take yourself as a fast-
food
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 consumer as an example that eats them every day, adding
tax
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 to the price makes you think twice when you want to buy them and
as a result
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, leads you to consume less.
On the other hand
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,
although
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 taking some measures like
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tax
Add an article
a tax
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 to increase the price of fast
food
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 is a viable solution it is not sufficient. Alongside getting
tax
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, I believe we need some replacement, too.
In other words
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, we can't force
people
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 to prohibit something if we don't have any alternative. So, we need some rapidly prepared
foods
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 which are healthier than typical fast
foods
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.
For example
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, introducing some nutritious vegetables and fruits and making them available everywhere is a nice policy that will encourage
people
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 to use them more.
To sum up
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, discouraging
people
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 to have fast
food
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 by imposing
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tax
Add an article
a tax
show examples
 on them is a good idea.
However
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, we
also
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 need to replace it with something new and healthier to meet the need of a modern lifestyle.
Submitted by haq1366 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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