In the past，many people had skills such as making their own clothes and doing repair to things in the house. In many countries, nowadays, skills like these are disappearing. Why do you think this change is happening? how far is this situation true in your county?
People
born in the 20th century seem to be more self-dependent in housework than their contemporaries. In my eyes, this
is a natural consequence of the development of capitalism, since it has significantly lowered prices
of merchandise and made the frequent replacement of it completely affordable.
The stable decrease in prices
of daily goods motivates people
to purchase rather than repair. With the maturation of capitalism throughout the world, the division of labour is becoming increasingly efficient, which directly leads to lower prices
. When prices
are amiable, nobody will refuse to substitute a delicate product for an obsolete one. This
kind of instance is not rare. In Jinghua, a Chinese southwest town noted for frugalness, people
raced to discard their original patched clothes when economic reformation had drawn down prices
of goods. Therefore
, the versatility of people
of the past is a compromise to exorbitant costs.
With the spread of the commodity economy, this
kind of concession is seldom to be observed and my hometown is a perfect instance. About fifteen years ago, many inhabitants here were still proud of their patched clothes, which were an indication of their saving
. Fix the agreement mistake
savings
However
, the situation has totally changed. Nowadays, despite remaining to regard saving as a virtue, nobody perceives a patched cloth as an appropriate expression. They have accustomed themselves to chasing fashions and long lost the skills of stitching clothes themselves.
In conclusion, the DIY of people
living in past is the result of excessively high prices
. With the development of the commodity economy, these skills have lost their application scenarios. In the future, they may serve more for individual hobbies than for practical needs.Submitted by hx88375757 on
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task achievement
Be clear when explaining cause-and-effect relationships to avoid potential misunderstandings. Mentioning broader economic trends is good, but ensure specific examples are directly tied to the main point.
coherence cohesion
Although your essay is well-structured, use transitions and linking words more effectively between paragraphs to enhance the logical flow.
task achievement
The essay clearly addresses why the skillset of making clothes and repairing items is disappearing, supported by relevant and specific examples.
task achievement
Good use of historical context and personal experience to support the argument, giving the essay depth and credibility.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-rounded, providing a clear starting point and a strong finish to your essay.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is sound with ideas presented in a clear and concise manner.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite