Nowadays, children spend too much time watching TV and playing computer games. Some people believe this has negative effects on children's mental abilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree？
Most
children
are addicted to playing computer games
and spending time on television at present. Some believe this
has adverse effects on their conceptual abilities . I am of the view that this
trend will have serious consequences for children
if not controlled sooner.
Children
's cognitive abilities are improved based on both physical and intellectual capabilities. Firstly
, spending too much time in isolation playing video
games
will create a child with no human empathy. This
will impact their ability to interact with others making them fragile and arrogant. For example
, research has proven that at
child's mental ability will be improved when their social skills with others are in balance. Correct your spelling
a
Moreover
, this
will eventually decline the concentration of a child to study and result in degrading academic results.
Obesity is the other outcome of this
dilemma. In other words
, lack of exercise will result in increasing amount of cholesterol levels which leads to unhealthy body fats. To begin
with, it is found that four of every ten children
in America are obese which has led to a detrimental impact on families. In addition
to that, playing too much
Correct quantifier usage
many
video
games
have
resulted in losing visibility among Correct subject-verb agreement
has
children
and degrading brain cells which they need to acquire knowledge at a young age. For instance
, suicide rates among children
in Canada have seen their highest over the last
5 years due to
mental instability in
, and scientists believe Change preposition
apply
this
has a direct correlation to the usage of video
games
.
In conclusion, it is a fact that children
nowadays have access to, too many video
games
and television and this
has had damaging effects on their psychological abilities.Submitted by madonnasama on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
relevant specific examples
Ensure examples used are relevant and specific to the main points mentioned.
logical structure
Continue to organize your ideas logically, starting with a clear thesis statement in the introduction and wrapping up with a summary in the conclusion.
introduction conclusion present
Make your main points and supporting details clearer by using more transitional phrases.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your essay provides a clear argument supporting the view that excessive screen time has negative effects on children's mental abilities.
logical structure
The structure of your essay, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, is effective and helps in presenting your ideas logically.
supported main points
Your essay touches on key points such as cognitive development, social skills, and physical health, which are relevant to the topic.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!