IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The money spent by governments on space programmes would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is the case that some governments spent a lot of
money
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 on exploring
space
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.
In my
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My
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 opinion, I strongly agree with the idea that
this
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money
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 should be spent on public services that bring more helpful to people’s daily
life
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. There are several reasons that
space
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 exploration should be abandoned.
Firstly
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,
space
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 missions can cost a substantial amount of
money
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 for training astronauts, building rockets, and
space
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 shuttles, and developing advanced technologies.
Secondly
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,
this
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 exploration is not useful directly to the lives of ordinary people who are facing to challenges of earning a living or health problems.
Finally
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,
space
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 research could put the
life
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 of astronauts at risk. Despite the invention of some unmanned spacecraft, which is supposed to reduce involvement in dangerous tasks, accidents would still happen. I believe that the
money
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 spent on
space
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 research should use for schools and hospitals. One of the main reasons is that it is cheaper to train teachers and doctors than that astronauts. If the billions of dollars spent on
space
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 research could be used for education programs so that the young would be offered knowledge and skills to work efficiently.
As a result
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, more and more people could have a better
life
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. Another reason is if governments reallocate the fund for
space
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 travel and exploration into building hospitals and supplying good healthcare to citizens. It means that people could feel more secure and happier because they can receive support from the national authorities. In conclusion, I personally advocate that it is better to spend
money
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 that brings more benefits to human daily
life
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 in terms of education and healthcare than using the
money
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 for exploring
space
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 and remote planets.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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