IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. summearise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. summearise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country #summearise #information #features #comparisons
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The charts provide
an information
Remove the article
information
a piece of information
show examples
 about changes in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of households with electrical appliances and
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of time
contributing
Wrong verb form
contributed
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 housework per week, over a hundred-year period between 1919 and 2019. Looking over the charts, a few main trends turn out to be clear.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of electrical devices in our houses shows
steady
Add an article
a steady
show examples
 upward trend. Meanwhile, the
number
Use synonyms
 of hours of housework continuously drops. A more detailed look at the first chart reveals that the most rapid raise was fixed for refrigerators. It has
boosted
Add a missing verb
been boosted
show examples
 since 1920
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and has taken its own place in each house to 1980 already.
As well as
Linking Words
 refrigerators, vacuum cleaners became well-spread in households during the
last
Linking Words
 century.
However
Linking Words
, the latter had
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 stable increase and achieve 100% of appearance only
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2000. Washing machine seems to be less popular or less available for
middle-class
Correct article usage
the middle-class
show examples
 arguably. The percentage of
this
Linking Words
 device
were slightly fluctuated
Change to the active voice
slightly fluctuated
fluctuated
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 from 60% to 70% through the period between
40s
Change the article
the 40s
show examples
 and 90s, but after
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
 the figure has been slowly rising since 2000. In terms of
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of hours of housework per week, it is significantly falling. Following the data
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
above, we could make an assumption that
this
Linking Words
 downward trend will continue
due to
Linking Words
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
 of electrical devices in households.
Submitted by lifeisjune on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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