Today our communications, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Alongside the development of technology, computer
systems
have become vital for multiple sectors
such
as communications, medicine and transport. In my opinion, every dependence comes attached to a proportional amount of vulnerability, and
this
one
in particular
is extremely dangerous because there are multiple reasons that might lead these
systems
to failure and the consequences can be terrifying. First of all, since all computer
systems
rely on a chain of physical machinery, any damage caused to any of these or lack of supply could lead to a massive disruption.
For instance
, if a database server used by a hospital is in the area of a climate event and has its power supply cut off, the health staff might not be able to access
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
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order to care for patients
in
Change preposition
to
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the standards that they were supposed to.
As a result
, multiple people could be harmed and eventually even die. On top of that, most of the
systems
are connected through the internet which might leave data exposed to cyber attacks and leaks. In a world where
cyber crime
Correct your spelling
cybercrime
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is hard to trace and punish, these situations have become frequent and endanger individual privacy. With simple information just as full name, address, telephone and identification number, criminals could have access to loans
while
pretending to be someone else,
for example
. If
this
is stolen from a communication company database with thousands of customers, the number of victims could be massive. In conclusion, I believe that the strong dependence that
communicating
Replace the word
communication
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, medicine and transportation industries have on computer
systems
is a massive danger since it could potentially harm users. In order to prevent that, it is necessary to invest in cyber security and backup
systems
in case the first one fails.
Submitted by lucianarh on

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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the task prompt with a clear stance. Ensure that each supporting point is evenly elaborated to maintain balance in your argumentation.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, maintaining a logical flow between ideas. This will enhance the cohesion of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly structured, which provides a solid framework for your essay.
task achievement
Your essay presents clear ideas that relate directly to the task prompt. You comprehensively cover the potential dangers of reliance on computer technology across various sectors.
task achievement
You use relevant examples to support your points, adding depth to your arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • reliance
  • cybersecurity
  • over-reliance
  • digital divide
  • data breach
  • cyberbullying
  • diagnostic machines
  • electronic health records
  • automated vehicles
  • predictive maintenance
  • real-time monitoring
  • vulnerability
  • misinformation
  • hacking
  • efficiency
  • navigation systems
  • traditional skills
  • system failures
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