Today children are surrounded by electronic devices such as personal computers, tablet computers, and smart phones, and they learn to use them at a very early age. What are advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

#children #devices #computers #tablet #phones #age #situation

The majority of toddlers have exerted multitudinous advanced technologies like computers and smartphones at a very early age. As a social problem,

this

phenomenon has a positive and negative side. In the following paragraphs, I will try to detail both of them.

To begin

with, having information about using electronic tools from an early age can make children interested

to learn

Change preposition

in learning

show examples

more about technologies when they grow up

later

Rephrase

apply

show examples

. With exceptional guidance,

consequently

, they can be experts in numerous ecosystems which are relevant to advanced innovation.

For example

, some educational institutions in Indonesia have introduced several aspects of computer science to youngsters which can motivate a number of children to study more about those lessons professionally later.

Nevertheless

, using a plethora of electronic gadgets from an early age can corrode some functions of the eyes. It can happen

due to

that some tools like personal computers have probabilities to release blue radiation which can

Verb problem

have

show examples

detrimental effects on eyesight.

As a consequence

, many children might have myopia which is caused by electronic screens

massively

Rephrase

apply

show examples

For instance

, I started to use a cellphone when I was 5 years old and after a couple of years, I need to use glasses because I have a myopia problem.

To conclude

, exerting many gadgets for youngsters has two different sides. As a merit, they can prepare early to learn pieces of knowledge about technologies lessons which can assist them to be experts.

However

, eyesight issues

such

as myopia can be gained, specifically if they use earlier innovations extremely.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Wed Apr 19 2023

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task response

Ensure that the essay directly addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of children using electronic devices. Provide a balanced discussion of both sides to fully respond to the task prompt.

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Work on creating a more coherent and cohesive essay structure. Use clear and logical transitions between ideas and paragraphs to improve overall coherence.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Today children are surrounded by electronic devices such as personal computers, tablet computers, and smart phones, and they learn to use them at a very early age. What are advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Modern technology is now very common in most workplaces. How do you think has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages of relying to much on technology?

Some people argue that it is the responsibility of the police to educate children about good behavior, whereas others believe that parents should be responsible for children. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Too much emphasis is given for education of the young. More government money should be spent to free time activity of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?