Organized tour to remote areas and community is increasingly popular. Is it a positive or negative development for the local people and the environment?
There is a trend these days to arrange visits to the countryside.
Although
some people opine that they are useful for the local community, I believe, it is not a good development for the native populace Linking Words
due to
a disturbance in their daily routine.Linking Words
Moreover
, it has detrimental effects on the climate Linking Words
due to
increased waste production.
On the one hand, the organized tour to a village creates problems for the villagers by interfering in their community life.Many native members are not accustomed to interacting with the strangers in their neighbourhood. Linking Words
For instance
, when tourists come to see my parents' town on the Tilla Ranges, the local people feel agitated.Linking Words
This
is because, the women over there observe veils, and when they see so many foreigners roaming around their houses, they tend to remain indoors.Linking Words
As a result
, many chores remain pending like getting water from the well or grazing the cattle in the fields.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, Linking Words
such
trips to remote places have an unpleasant effect on the environment.A major drawback is the huge quantity of litter Linking Words
that is
spread throughout the area, where the excursionists travel.Linking Words
This
means that there will be more pollution in those territories, as there are not enough resources available with the local administration for the purpose of cleanliness.Linking Words
For example
, whenever, there is a school trip to the Rohtas Forte in Jhelum, the area remains dirty for the next couple of weeks, which spoils the natural beauty of Linking Words
this
historical place.
In conclusion, in my opinion, the increasing number of excursions to the countryside is a negative development Linking Words
due to
their adverse consequences including the hindrance faced by locals in the performance of their daily tasks and the environment getting polluted with every single trip.Linking Words
Submitted by alishah2294 on
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task achievement
You have presented a clear argument and concluded appropriately, but there are a few language inaccuracies, such as 'although some people opine that they are useful for the local community.' It would be better to use 'some people believe that these tours are beneficial for the local community.'
coherence and cohesion
While your ideas flow logically and you have used paragraphs well to organize your points, there's a scope for better use of linking words and phrases to improve fluency. For instance, phrases like 'as a consequence,' or 'in contrast,' can enhance coherence.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a well-defined structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You've effectively supported your points with specific examples (e.g., the Tilla Ranges and Rohtas Forte).