IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph shows how elderly people in the USA spent their free time between 1980 and 2010.

The graph shows how elderly people in the USA spent their free time between 1980 and 2010.
The line graph shows how old people in the USA spent their free time from 1980 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is obvious that hiking showed a gradual increment throughout the period, exceeding watching TV, reading, and
theatre
Use synonyms
 by almost 80%. In the 1980s, watching TV was the
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 activity for elders in the USA
while
Linking Words
 it was placed at 60%. In the contrast, surfing the Internet was nearly 5% which was the lowest percentage among other activities. 50% of elderly people in the USA spent their free time in
theatre
Use synonyms
 but, it gradually declined to 30% in the 1990s. In the 2000s, activities
such
Linking Words
 as hiking, reading, and surfing the Internet experienced a rapid surge for a decade. Reading placed at 20% in the 2000s
then
Linking Words
, it extremely soared to 60% in the 2010s, exceeding
theatre
Use synonyms
 activity. Surfing the Internet was almost 15% in the 2000s
then
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
 surged to 50% in 2010, surpassing
theatre
Use synonyms
.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words theatre with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "surge" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
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