IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that people who read books can develop more imagination and language skills than those who prefer to watch TV what extant do you agree or disagree?

#people #books #imagination #language #skills #tv
I agree that some
people
 who read a lot have a much better imagination and language skills. Because the imagination and fantasy world of a
person
 who reads a book is much better developed than a
person
 who watches TV or plays on the phone. In the imagination of
people
 who read the book, the works
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 read come to life as if they were happening in real life. He will remember the work he read for a long time.
This
 is not the case with a
person
 who watches TV.
This
 is only temporary.
People
 who read books have a higher level of thinking ability. They try not to have the negative feelings of the characters in the books they read. Takes good feelings as much as possible.
That is
 why great
people
 come out of them.There is a saying that the
person
 who read a book yesterday is not the
person
 of yesterday.
This
 is true. If we read a lot of books today, we will create a foundation for our future tomorrow.
Submitted by chartakinnovation on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Include a clear thesis statement at the end of your introduction to summarize your stance on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Improve the organization by dividing the essay into paragraphs.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and try to use a wider range of words and phrases.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar. There are some errors in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: