IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart and table below give information about healthcare resources and life expectancy in different countries.

The chart and table below give information about healthcare resources and life expectancy in different countries.
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The
bargraph
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bar graph
 compared data about the number of hospital
beds
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 per
thoasand
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thousand
 of the demographic people in seven
countries
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 and the table illustrates information
the
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on the
show examples
 amount of money which was
spending
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spent
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 by the government of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
thre
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three
countries
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such
Linking Words
 as
Japan
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,
Correct article usage
the Netherland
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Netherland
Fix the agreement mistake
Netherlands
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 and The US.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the graph is that
Japan
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 has more
beds
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 per number of their population with about 14 per one thousand than other
countries
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 in the question. After that, Germany got the second position with just under 8
beds
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 for their population and
then
Linking Words
, other
countries
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 are in
same
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the same
a same
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 range approximately with 4
beds
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. Another interesting point is that the US has
spending
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spent
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 more than three times of
Japan
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for
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on
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health
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the health
a health
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 system, and after that the Netherlands with almost half
amount
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the amount
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 of money from the US is second.
However
Linking Words
average
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the average
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 life
expetancy
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expectancy
of
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in
show examples
Use synonyms
japan
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Japan
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 is more than
others
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the others
show examples
. looking at the details, as regards Canada, Spain and the United Kingdom are below than 4
beds
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of
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apply
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per thousand and the Netherlands and Australia are near to 4
beds
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 with a little more and a little less respectively.
Japans
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Japan
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 with 14
beds
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 and Germany with 8
beds
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 have the most
carying
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caring
varying
carrying
 health systems.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words beds, countries, japan with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • healthcare resources
  • life expectancy
  • per capita
  • modern medical equipment
  • correlate
  • accessibility
  • average lifespan
  • healthcare policies
  • government healthcare spending
  • disparities
  • developed countries
  • developing countries
  • global health inequalities
  • technological advancements
  • telemedicine
  • AI diagnostics
  • health outcomes
  • public health initiatives
  • vaccination programs
  • preventive healthcare
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