We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer-based technology. How do you think it will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computers?

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Computer-based
technology
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is becoming more integrated into human
life
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. It started with the speed of computers in offices and families simplifying our
lives
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. Some
people
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believed that those
machines
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would never have a significant role in our society. In fact, some universities and jobs are built exclusively around those
machines
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and some
people
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wouldn’t have survived without their utility.
People
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don’t know, how our
lives
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will be built around computers in the
future
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, and is it good to rely so heavily on them. In my opinion, computer-based
technology
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will be modernized and integrated into human
life
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. Today
people
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can’t imagine how will they work without plotting graphs and writing text in Windows applications.
Moreover
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, the correct usage of these applications is already integrated into educational programs. By
this
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, I mean that
,
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apply
show examples
future
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education and jobs will based on those
machines
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. To exemplify, nowadays the most popular and highly paid jobs are computer-related,
such
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as IT, coding, and cyber security. It only means that computer-based
technology
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will spread significantly in our
lives
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and
future
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. Every person wants to make their
life
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easier and computers help humans fulfil
this
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wish. It’s absolutely normal and beneficial to rely on those
machines
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. Objectively, the
future
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belongs to
technology
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, and the more
people
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master it, the more successful the development of civilization will be.
For example
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, the innovation of the first computer which during the twentieth century, improved several directions of humanity’s development is worth mentioning. The Internet accelerated the process of education and information search, which had a beneficial effect on society.
Overall
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, computer-based
technology
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has proved to be a positive factor in the
future
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of society, because
people
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gradually use it in daily
life
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and work.
This
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is clearly more about the pros of relying on
technology
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, making our
lives
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simpler, and allowing
people
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more time for personal growth and self-care.
Submitted by aakbarov2010 on

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task achievement
For task response, ensure you adequately address all parts of the question with clear and comprehensive ideas. Consider elaborating further on the topic of reliance on computers being beneficial or detrimental and provide nuanced points.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, maintain a logical structure by using linking words and phrases to guide the reader. You might want to strengthen the transitions between some paragraphs to ensure smooth flow.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as the importance of IT jobs, which help illustrate your points effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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