IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Many people believe that social networking sites have huge negative effects on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #sites #effects #individuals #society
Over recent years, the use of social networking
sites
 amongst all age groups has been constantly on the rise. Some
people
 argue that these
sites
 have
greater
Add an article
a greater
show examples
 negative impact on both individuals and society.
This
 essay agrees with
this
 statement as in today's world most
people
 have become addicted to looking flawless.
Furthermore
,
Add an article
the population
show examples
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
 across all age groups using these
sites
 are inclined towards taking pictures of every moment of their life and showcasing
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
 the world.
Firstly
, most
people
 who use social networking
sites
 on daily basis post pictures of themselves, inviting comments from their audience.
Due to
this
, the users undergo pressure to look perfect and use various apps to apply filters and effects to make them look appealing in anticipation of receiving positive comments.
Moreover
, the social networking apps
such
 as Instagram come with
in built
Correct your spelling
inbuilt
show examples
 face correctors and edit tools encouraging their
auidence
Correct your spelling
audience
 to
believing
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 looking perfect .
Therefore
, the
sites
 are encouraging the audience to develop a negative
mind set
Correct your spelling
mindset
show examples
 towards their own self and natural looks.
On the other hand
, it is observed that
people
 now are more focused on capturing every moment of their life and posting on the
sites
 rather than living in the present and enjoying the moments.
For instance
,
recently
Replace the word
recent
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 pictures of
toddlers
Change noun form
toddlers'
toddler's
show examples
 first walk have become quite famous and a viral theme on the internet.
Thus
, resulting in parents being interested in taking images
instead
 of enjoying that moment with their child. In conclusion, the
sites
 have today become
a
Correct article usage
apply
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showbusiness for even
commonman
Correct your spelling
common man
 to project an alternative no drawback image of themselves and a means of displaying life events with no emotions impacting
people
 in a negative manner.
Submitted by samyuktha.gagga on

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Your opinion

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