IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation
Work
Add a hyphen
Work-life
show examples
life
 balance is
hot
Add an article
a hot
show examples
 topic in lifestyle magazines. The more you spend
time
 for
work
, the more you
loose
Correct your spelling
lose
show examples
time
 for chilling and
rest
Wrong verb form
resting
show examples
. Long hours
wrkinghave
Correct your spelling
working have
 both advantages and disadvantages,
although
 its drawbacks are more. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will write two
benefeits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 and three
weakpoints
Correct your spelling
weak points
 of working till wee hours.
People
 gain some benefits from working
consistantly
Correct your spelling
consistently
.
Firstly
, they earn more money
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 in jobs which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 paid hourly.
In contrast
 to
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 workload,
this
 is the
ebst
Correct your spelling
best
 option for
people
 who are under economic
presure
Correct your spelling
pressure
.
Moreover
, in
high demand
Add a hyphen
high-demand
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
,
such
 as managing,
people
 get more credit. The
time
 you spend
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 your
work
 means
hou
Correct your spelling
how
 much
this
 position means to you and
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
 commitment. Apart
all
Change preposition
from all
show examples
 advantages, there are lots of disadvantages which make
work
Add a hyphen
work-life
show examples
life
 balance issue a crucial topic.
On the other hand
, working too much affect every
details
Change to a singular noun
detail
show examples
 of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
human
life
.
For instance
,
due to
 lack of
time
,
body
Add an article
the body
show examples
 does not have enough
time
 to rest and recover. Even if you be physically active in
work
time
, there should be some spare
time
 for doing different
movement
Fix the agreement mistake
movements
show examples
 compare to
work
.
Furthermore
,
people
 who
work
 too much usually miss family and friends gathering which is a perfect
time
 for communication, sharing emotions, expressing love and experiencing new feelings.
Finally
Add a comma
,Finally
show examples
 lack of
time
fore
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
 leisure activities resulted in increasing personal, sexual,
physical
Correct word choice
and physical
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
. One of my friends who is a president of an innovation factory with
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 salary,
suffering
Wrong verb form
suffers
show examples
ferom
Correct your spelling
from
 feeling
loneness
Replace the word
loneliness
show examples
 because he
addicted
Add a missing verb
is addicted
show examples
 to
work
 and doesn't
knw
Correct your spelling
know
 how to enjoy his free
time
 in
case
Add an article
the case
a case
show examples
.
To conclude
 it has a huge
affect
Replace the word
effect
show examples
 on
life
.
To sum up
,
although
,
peole
Correct your spelling
people
 can get credit and high income, the impact of working hard
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
physical
Change the word
physically
show examples
,
loosing
Replace the word
losing
show examples
 communication skills and
increasing
Correct article usage
an increasing
show examples
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of different
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 in
life
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
outweighs
 the disadvantages of working for long hours.
Submitted by narges_yousefi on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
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