It is important for everyone including young people to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Saving
money
is a crucial aspect of financial planning that contributes significantly to personal stability and long-term security. However
, there is a bad side to budgeting money
for youngsters.
It is highly essential for people
to keep track of their spending money
and try to save it for the future. To commence with, people
, especially youngsters, have to be more careful with money
in order to enhance their standards of living subsequently
. To clarify, if individuals save their money
in their bank account
, they will have more chances to supply facilities and welfare, Fix the agreement mistake
accounts
such
as decent housing and luxury cars for their families in succession.In other words
, the less they indulge in spending, the more they can provide facilities in the future.Additionally
, people
can invest their money
in reliable stock companies in order to achieve a vast sum of money
later. To specify, every person can make their little amount of money
grow significantly by investing rather than spending money
extravagantly.
On the other hand
, youngsters have to enjoy their lives because when they grow older, they will probably have neither time nor energy to make the most of their money
. For instance
, despite saving sufficient money
, they assumedly do not have the chance to enjoy in travels. This
is because they should look after their children or they may develop some diseases as they grow older and cannot be as energetic and vibrant. However
, people
can easily manage and tackle these issues by having enough money
.
In conclusion, saving money
is helpful for people
, they can take advantage of several facilities and welfare. Hence
, I am firmly convinced that saving money
plays a pivotal role in every individual’s life.Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using connective phrases such as 'Furthermore,' 'On the contrary,' and 'In addition' can help maintain the flow of ideas.
Task Achievement
Make sure that the examples provided are detailed and directly tied to the points being made. This helps in further solidifying the arguments presented. For instance, a more detailed example of a successful investment by a young person would be beneficial.
Task Achievement
To elevate your task response, provide more comprehensive reasoning to back your stance. Adding a few more sentences to explain why saving is more beneficial in the long term despite not living lavishly while young can strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
The introduction clearly sets up the topic and the two sides of the argument, laying a good foundation for the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The conclusion nicely wraps up the points discussed and reinforces the writer's position on the topic.
Task Achievement
The essay contains relevant and meaningful ideas, showing an understanding of the importance of financial planning.
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