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Band 2.5

Some people think that the government should give money to creative people such as artists and musicians. To what extent extend do you agree. #people

#people #government #money #artists #musicians
Few people thought that it's the Government's responsibility to support talented
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 financially. In my opinion ,I agree that the national society should provide enough
of
Change preposition
apply
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money,
however
, they should
also
 use it wisely.In
this
 essay, I will discuss the importance of having full support from public offices or
servant
Fix the agreement mistake
servants
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. To start with, our teenagers nowadays, had their
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
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 since they entered school activities.Mapeh culmination
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 instance, is the best method
that
Correct word choice
apply
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the students boost their confidence in facing the crowd confidently.
In addition
, aside from the institution that they have been
, they
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to, they
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were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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also
 travelled to other places to compete and show their talents.
As a result
, they make us all proud of their achievement. Another point is that when those adolescents continue to grow and
pusrue
Correct your spelling
pursue
 their passion in life, the government can easily find the right representative of the country. And they should do their best to assist in everything that the
athlete's
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athletes
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 need to make
him
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 or
her
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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ready for the event.
Therefore
, I conclude that
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 huge help
of
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from
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 one nation to a talented man will bring out the best to obtain the desires of one country.
Submitted by yeye_h on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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