IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many cities,many people are living in large apartments blocks.Does this accommodation have more advantages and disadvantages.

#cities #people #apartments #blocks #accommodation
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Nowadays, a number of
people
Use synonyms
 are living in huge
building's
Change noun form
buildings
show examples
 flat and
Linking Words
this
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these
show examples
trends
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trend
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 are going to
contunie
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continue
. In
this
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 essay, I
wil
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will
 argue
pros
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the pros
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 and cons of living
buildings
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in buildings
show examples
. First of all,
i
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I
show examples
 want to explain some advantages
living
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of living
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 in
apartmens
Correct your spelling
apartments
 and there have been immense advances
living
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in living
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large
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in large
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 apartments.
People
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, who
living
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live
show examples
 in
apartmets
Correct your spelling
apartments
 can easily do their housework
effordless
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effortless
 even if
their
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there
show examples
 have some useful
facilitities
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facilities
, and renting an apartment building is
Correct quantifier usage
more acceptable
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acceptable
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acceptably
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cheper
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cheaper
 than
own
Wrong verb form
owning
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 a house, and it
do
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does
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 not exist any real estate taxes.
Moreover
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, I would mention that in these
establishment's
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establishment
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 utilities are much cheaper than a house.
Secondly
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, there
also
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have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a lot of disadvantages and
people
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everyday
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every day
show examples
 have been facing
this
Linking Words
 kind of
problems
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problem
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. One of them exactly must be
traffic
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a traffic
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jam
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jams
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 in many developing and developed countries, because it doesn't allow them
get
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to get
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 to their work
at
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on
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time
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the time
a time
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. In
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additionally
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addition
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, if we
living
Wrong verb form
live
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 in
buldings
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buildings
, there will have some noise
such
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high
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as high
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 music and crying child sound, laughing
people
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.
As well as
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 sometimes
people
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 can not find any spare space
putting
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to put
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 their
stuffs
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stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
 and
it's
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its
show examples
reason
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the reason
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 is that
people
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 prefer to live
small
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in small
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place
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places
show examples
 and it tent to create a new problem.
Furthermore
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, the most major issue is parking and in
last
Linking Words
 times
this
Linking Words
Add a missing verb
has lead
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lead
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led
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 to some
a
Correct article usage
apply
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new
issue
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issues
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 between neighbours. In
conclude
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conclusion
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,
in
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apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 topic has lots of pros and cons and both of them are really essential and if we want to live in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 apartment flat, we have to pay attention
where
Change preposition
to where
show examples
 we want to live.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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