IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Many people around the world are still relying on the private car as their major mean of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest some solutions

#people #world #car #transportation #over-reliance #cars
personal automobiles are still a preferable option to most individuals around the globe,
thus
 what cost
due to
 being over-dependent on " horseless carriage" and what are the solutions? First of all, it is common sense that the world is changing constantly and so too is human demand.
Therefore
, obtaining a personal vehicle and relying on it is just a part of our own comfort.
Consequently
,
this
 action could cause a global dilemma without proper clarification. In the present day, most types of transportation emit toxin gases into the surrounding environment
due to
 their fossil energy consumption.
Furthermore
, a great number of private motors could cause heavy industrial emissions that damage both people's health and the nature In one's opinion, in other to solve
this
 situation need cooperation from both the government and car companies.
Therefore
 The government are required to refine public transportation facilities' quality and the system to increase citizens' impression of the bus line
as well as
 their willingness to use it .
In addition
, vehicle corporations must observe renewable energy resources as their main power source to protect nature's environment.
Submitted by David on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: