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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The best way to reduce youth crimes is to educate their parents with parental skills. To what extent you agree or disagree?

#youth #crimes #parents #skills
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Many people think that
educate
Wrong verb form
educating
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parents
Use synonyms
 with parental
skills
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 is the best method to decrease Juvenile delinquencies. Even when
parents
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 have a great influence, there are still many external factors that can be improved to positively affect a child's development. On the one hand,
parents
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 with good parental
skills
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 have a great impact on
children
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’s behaviour. In fact, minors tend to have compatible development
to
Change preposition
with
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 social norms under parental orientation. Since
parents
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 are
those
Correct determiner usage
apply
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in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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closet
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close
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 proximity to their
children
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, educating
parents
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 with parental
skills
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 is necessary to minimise the possibility of juvenile delinquency.
However
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, educating the youth at home is not enough in many cases. Nowadays, most
children
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 have to spend their time at school
where
Correct word choice
which
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parents
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 can not always keep an eye
on
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themon
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. Scientists have proven that 60% of
children
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 who are sent to kindergarten will have an influence
of
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on
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 the surrounding environment
such
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 as teachers and friends.
Therefore
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,
while
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 the factors affecting
children
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 are increasing, teacher education has
also
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 become an important method.
In other words
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, teacher training can help improve the child's development environment.
Besides
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, the use of different means of communication could
also
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 affect minors' thinking and
behavirours
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behaviour
, which proves that
parents
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 with good parental
skills
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is
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are
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 not the only method
that is
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 responsible for the reduction of youth crimes. In conclusion, consolidating
skills
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 to educate
children
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 is a good way to limit
the
Correct article usage
apply
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juvenile criminal
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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, but it should be applied concurrently with other methods for
best
Correct article usage
the best
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 effect.
Submitted by dotien.st on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • mandatory
  • equip
  • psychological
  • constructively
  • foster
  • empowered
  • isolated
  • escalation
  • multi-faceted approach
  • eradicate
  • peer influence
  • socio-economic status
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