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In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents’ homes once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing a house with friends. Is this a positive or a negative development?

#countries #world #people #parents’ #homes #school #house #friends #development
First of all, I think young
people
 who start living on their own or
share
Wrong verb form
sharing
show examples
room
Correct article usage
a room
show examples
 with friends is a positive development which provides a huge benefit in exploring and facing hardships in the world. When young start living on their own or share a
room
 it presents a picture that they have started their own journey and are now ready to be financially independent.
This
 creates a positive impact on the young
people
's
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 as they now face the struggles on their own,
makes
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 them mentally strong in terms of being financially independent
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 young
people
 should struggle
that
Change preposition
with that
show examples
 comes along as it provides them with
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
 experiences. Sharing a
room
 with roommates is
also
 a fun part. Sooner or later one has to move out in order to pursue higher studies so ultimately the development would be positive. At
last
Add a comma
,last
show examples
 I would say that at the start it might be difficult to live alone or share
room
Add an article
a room
show examples
 but in the
end
Add a comma
,end
show examples
 it would leave young
people
 with some good experiences
Submitted by mohitdps173 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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