IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents’ homes once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing a house with friends. Is this a positive or a negative development?

#countries #world #people #parents’ #homes #school #house #friends #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
First of all, I think young
people
Use synonyms
 who start living on their own or
share
Wrong verb form
sharing
show examples
Use synonyms
room
Correct article usage
a room
show examples
 with friends is a positive development which provides a huge benefit in exploring and facing hardships in the world. When young start living on their own or share a
room
Use synonyms
 it presents a picture that they have started their own journey and are now ready to be financially independent.
This
Linking Words
 creates a positive impact on the young
people
Use synonyms
's
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 as they now face the struggles on their own,
makes
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 them mentally strong in terms of being financially independent
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 young
people
Use synonyms
 should struggle
that
Change preposition
with that
show examples
 comes along as it provides them with
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
 experiences. Sharing a
room
Use synonyms
 with roommates is
also
Linking Words
 a fun part. Sooner or later one has to move out in order to pursue higher studies so ultimately the development would be positive. At
Linking Words
last
Add a comma
,last
show examples
 I would say that at the start it might be difficult to live alone or share
Use synonyms
room
Add an article
a room
show examples
 but in the
end
Add a comma
,end
show examples
 it would leave young
people
Use synonyms
 with some good experiences
Submitted by mohitdps173 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: