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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The given table shows the number of international visitors arrivals came to nine different countries and the percentage changes between 2009 and 2010.

The given table shows the number of international visitors arrivals came to nine different countries and the percentage changes between 2009 and 2010.
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The given table shows the
number
Use synonyms
 of international
visitors
Use synonyms
 arrivals came to nine different countries and the percentage changes between 2009 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 France is one of the most attractive places over the period of 2 years. The opposite was true for that of Hongkong.
Besides
Linking Words
 that,
Turkey
Use synonyms
, China and Germany saw a sharp increase from 2009 to 2010. The
number
Use synonyms
 of foreign
visitors
Use synonyms
 coming to the US, Spain and Italy was 66, 55 and 44
million
Use synonyms
 in 2009 respectively. After 1 year, there was witnessed a gradual growth of 1
million
Use synonyms
 in both the US, Spain and
Turkey
Use synonyms
. The figure for travellers coming to the UK was 3.6% which was 2 times as much as in Spain in 2 years. Meanwhile, the
number
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 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 welcomed in France remained unchanged at around 76
million
Use synonyms
 from 2009 to 2010.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of foreign
visitors
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 coming to
Turkey
Use synonyms
, China and Germany increased significantly from 33, 22 and 11
million
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 in 2009 to 45, 34 and 23 in 2010 respectively. The percentage of rates in Germany was the highest rate approximately 109% which was 2 times as much as in China and roughly 3.3 times higher than in
Turkey
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. By
constract
Correct your spelling
contrast
, in 2009, the figure for travellers coming to Hongkong was 10
million
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 and 1 year later, Hongkong fell slightly by 1
million
Use synonyms
 travellers.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, visitors, turkey, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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