Education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is sometimes argued that some adult literacies should be provided financial aid to educate by the
government
. In my opinion, we should focus on educating the knowledge to youngsters. There are several reasons why I would argue against investing more
money
in uneducated adults.
Firstly
, adults can fund themselves to go to study, and the
government
doesn't need to spend more
money
on
this
thing.
Secondly
, most adults just have little time to learn the knowledge at school
due to
their own work.
Thirdly
, these
people
who don't accept well
education
may have a low tolerance for studying at school all day. The reason is that they usually have free management of their time to do things
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
they want to do, but at school, the highly intensive work and timetable may make them feel stressed and hard to learn. Young students who accept well
education
can contribute to the country.
For example
, some students will go to outposts, which have poor teaching
education
resources to impart their knowledge to those young
people
and provide good quality
education
resources. And the
government
should spend more
money
on those young
people
who study in remote villages. In conclusion, I do not believe that there will have many benefits to investing more
money
in uneducated
people
by the
government
.
Submitted by 671085928 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: