Some people think that children should start school Sooner While other believe they should not start it before seven.Discuss both views, and give your own opinion.
Some people are convinced that it is beneficial for
children
to begin
their educational journey before 7 while
others dispute this
opinion. In this
essay, I will elaborate on both these views and conclude with my personal opinion.
To begin
with, on the one side, those who advocate that toddlers should start school
sooner argue that, this
approach will help them to develop social skills. For example
, when a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
children
enter a school
before age 7, he will meet others his age and start establishing a relationship with them. Moreover
, early school
allows toddlers to learn the foundation of literacy and numeracy concepts. Therefore
, it will grant the educational organization enough time which will help to design a proper learning system
. For instance
, if the school
starts from age 5, the first two grades will teach the foundation of math and literature. Hence
, educational authorities could design a proper learning system
.
On the other hand
, a few folks think that children
should start school
after 7 because it emphasizes the importance of early childhood freedom. This
will help them to develop both mentally and physically if they are freed from pressure. For example
, when a child plays with the Lego game, he will earn a problem-solving skill which is one of the essential skills of a human being. Moreover
, if children
were grown up with their family, it would help to allow more time for emotional and social development.
In conclusion, there is a big debate about whether children
should start their learning system
early. Some individuals say that it will help to develop social skills as well as
it will give the educational organization time to design a solid learning system
. However
, others dispute that and say children
should be freed of the burden for healthy development. In general, I opine that starting school
at 7 is significantly healthy for toddlers.Submitted by abaadiip on
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Task Achievement
In your introduction, make sure to paraphrase the prompt more effectively to avoid repetition of the phrases. Aim to provide a clearer overview of what the essay will discuss.
Task Achievement
Although you tried to discuss both views, the essay appears incomplete. Ensure that you fully develop your ideas and complete your arguments. The conclusion is cut off and needs to bring closure to the topic.
Task Achievement
Work on developing your main ideas with more relevant, specific examples. Each paragraph should contain clear ideas supported by specific details or examples that enhance your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your essay has a logical flow by effectively using a range of cohesive devices. While some are present, more could be used to improve the overall cohesion and transition between ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your main points could be better supported with additional explanation and examples. Develop each point thoroughly to ensure clarity and to reinforce your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Include a clear introduction, body paragraphs with distinct main points, and a concise conclusion. Your conclusion should not introduce new ideas and should summarize the points made in your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.