Many believe that the goal of one’s career should be to pursue a passion while others feel it is merely a way to earn a livelihood. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#one’s #career #passion #livelihood

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Job goal is

one

Use synonyms

of the important reasons for employees and employers. A majority of people strongly believe that the goal of

one

Use synonyms

's career ought to be

perse

Verb problem

to pursue

show examples

a passion

whereas

Linking Words

others are of the opinion that it is merely a way to earn a livelihood. I personally hold the view that societies need a good reason to

effort

Verb problem

make

show examples

better

due to

Linking Words

better performance and avoiding daily reputation.

To begin

Linking Words

with, a job goal must have caught employees' spirit to work better.

In other words

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason should be meaningful for people in order to encourage them to do it

as well as

Linking Words

they can.

For example

Linking Words

, Japanese workers, take their job so seriously because they believe they are making the world a better place for the next generation.

moreover

Linking Words

, they know that they are responsible for achieving that goal.

In addition

Linking Words

to, better performance I do believe a goal of

one

Use synonyms

's career eliminates daily reputation. to clarify, workers need

this

Linking Words

goal to try different paths to achieve it other ways they just

one

Use synonyms

behaviour every day.

For instance

Linking Words

, Iranians who do not have any sense to work just repeat an action every shift for just a little salary.

therefore

Linking Words

, they do not help the company to grow. some may claim that

this

Linking Words

goal is not vital and that earning a salary is enough reason for society to work

due to

Linking Words

having better welfare.

however

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

view simply cannot be overlooked

due to

Linking Words

using

Wrong verb form

the use

show examples

of money to fulfil everyone's dreams.

to conclude

Linking Words

, a large group of people strongly believe that the career target should be to pursue a passion

while

Linking Words

some are of the opinion that it is a way to earn a livelihood. I firmly believe that there are more important reasons than money

such

Linking Words

as better performance and avoiding daily reputation.

Submitted by mirhashemim7 on Mon Apr 24 2023

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task response

Improve task achievement by directly addressing the prompt and providing a balanced discussion of both perspectives.

coherence and cohesion

Enhance coherence and cohesion by structuring the essay with clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Use linking words to connect ideas and provide stronger supporting examples.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

303 words

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Many believe that the goal of one’s career should be to pursue a passion while others feel it is merely a way to earn a livelihood. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Violent leisure programs has bad impacts on children. What are the causes and solutions for this problem?

Some people think that space exploration is a waste of resources. Others think that it is essential for mankind to continue to explore the universe in which we live. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A healthy person is often described as someone who has a good diet, gets plenty of exercise and avoids stress. What should people do to stay healthy in your country? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

how many students had sex in porn category? give the reasons