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Writing Samples
Band 5

Cultural tourism, where people travel in order to visit museums, monuments and archaeological sites among other things, is growing industry. Having so many visitors may sometimes benefit a nation`s cultural heritage, but can also cause problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#tourism #people #travel #visit #museums #monuments #sites #industry #visitors #benefit #nation`s #heritage
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Industry
Correct article usage
The industry
show examples
 of tourism is useful for
budget
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a budget
the budget
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 of
country
Add an article
the country
a country
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 which the
country
 development by that and ancient cultural monuments. I completely agree with
this
 opinion and I think
this
 industry is beneficial
our
Change preposition
to our
show examples
country
. First of all, if many people visit to see historical places,
economics
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the economics
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 of
country
Correct article usage
the country
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 will get rich. That
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
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 that
factual
Replace the word
facts
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was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 safe
during
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for
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 many years.
In addition
, foreign visitors can pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions.
For example
,
Greece
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Greece's
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 government boosts its economy
due to
tourists
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tourist
show examples
 arrivals.
Therefore
, the countries should take care
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the policy of improving their tourism activities.
Secondly
, if many foreigners visit
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
our
country
, it can help the
laguage
Correct your spelling
language
 skills of these young people to improve. When they meet
tourists
, they have the opportunity to talk to a native speaker. It is important in improving the efficiency of
language
 learning.
This
 is the result we have seen in the growth of the
language
 capabilities of the Indian youth during the time when the British ruled
in
Change preposition
apply
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India.
Consequently
,
Correct article usage
the arrivals
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arrivals
Fix the agreement mistake
arrival
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 of
tourists
 cause increasing
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
language
 experience.
On the other hand
, some people think that the visit of travellers can damage historical complexes. They pollute the
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
.
In addition
, historical monuments are
also
 likely to suffer significant damage from
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
For instance
, the Egyptian government forbade climbing on it
due to
 the
possibilty
Correct your spelling
possibility
 of damage to the Pyramids.
To conclude
, a large number of
tourists
 visiting the
country
 contributes greatly to the growth of the regional economy and the development of the
language
potensial
Correct your spelling
potential
 of the population.
Submitted by chartakinnovation on

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Linking words for giving examples:

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  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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