Studies have shown that most criminals have low levels of education. Because of this many believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate prisoners so they can get a job after being released. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#studies #criminals #levels #education #crime #prisoners #job

Compulsory education is one of the main concerns people have. Particularly, many doubt whether it is important to

art

, drama and music

classes

in the curriculum.

While

some people might argue on

this

topic, I personally believe that it is important to make

such

classes

a part of every child’s education. Those, who say that

such

classes

must be optional,

also

claim that

children

should be able to use one of their basic rights,

that is

, to

speek

Correct your spelling

speak

freely. Taking into consideration a child’s opinion is critically necessary

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

if we wish they had a bright future. For that reason,

children

should be able to manifest what they want and know what duties they are going to have in return. So, it is

preferably

Change the word

preferable

show examples

that

children

make a decision about

classes

in their school schedule on their own. Basically, people, belonging to

this

side, propose that

children

should decide what to study by their selves. In

this

case,

children

who want to learn

art

classes

can pick them.

However

, if they do not want to study it,

such

children

should be allowed to skip these

classes

On the other hand

, there is an opinion that

while

children

are small, they might not know what exactly is and will be important in their lives.

Due to

this

fact, it is vital to provide

children

with a wide spectrum of knowledge and abilities. So that by the time they become adults,

children

will have already gained all skills to start a career in any field they want. So,

art

, drama and music

classes

must

also

be included in the school curriculum.

Consequently

, I stand for the second opinion and I believe that it is necessary to give

children

all the basic knowledge

that is

possible, including

art

, drama and music

classes

To sum up

, there are different opinions concerning

this

topic and there is truth in each

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

sides

Fix the agreement mistake

side

show examples

. Though I suppose that

such

classes

must be included in the school curriculum.

Submitted by dulskywork on Mon Apr 24 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

330 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
many people think that university should teach students the real knowledge that comes from practice . Do you agree or disagree
Nowhere in the world has the issue of student been so much debated as in this competitive society, ability of work and employment experience have become very important features of ordinary students' future; therefore, many people think that university should teach students the real
4
band
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
A lot of organisations use high levels of suger for own products such as food and drink, and so it can cause many health problem. Sugar products can be more expenisve to compelling citizens to consume less suger. Overall, I agree with this decision dou to more attention people for cheaper products. On the other hand, by using sugar fewer than others, It makes people healthier leading to increase trust to government desicions for the future. In this essay both of evidences will be explored.
5
band
There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many believe that other measures will be needed. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
Apparently, there is an increase in the rate of illegal actions which are done annually. It is considered by some that capital punishment is the best method to deter the problem, while most people think some other approaches prevent criminals from doing offenses. As far as I am concerned, the second group have a better point due to the reasons which will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
6
band
You have been living in an apartment for the last three years. A few problems have emerged in your apartment since the last repair. Write a letter to your landlord. In your letter, give details of the last repair work what the problems are now how you would like the landlord to solve these problems Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ......................,
I am writing to you regarding the state of your apartment, as several issues have popped up since the last repair.
5.5
band
The debate on cash versus credit card has been going on for some time. Credit is still a fairly new concept within the history of finance; so many people would rather stick with paper money. According to you, which is a better payment method, cash or credit? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is a common belief that cash are more convenience than credit card because people are familiar with those for a very long time. However, I firmly believe that credit card is better than cash because it has more features, which is really useful for consumer.

Studies have shown that most criminals have low levels of education. Because of this many believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate prisoners so they can get a job after being released. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

many people think that university should teach students the real knowledge that comes from practice . Do you agree or disagree

There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many believe that other measures will be needed. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.