Studies have shown that most criminals have low levels of education. Because of this many believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate prisoners so they can get a job after being released. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Compulsory education is one of the main concerns people have. Particularly, many doubt whether it is important to
art
, drama and music
classes
in the curriculum.
While
some people might argue on
this
topic, I personally believe that it is important to make
such
classes
a part of every child’s education. Those, who say that
such
classes
must be optional,
also
claim that
children
should be able to use one of their basic rights,
that is
, to
speek
Correct your spelling
speak
freely. Taking into consideration a child’s opinion is critically necessary
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if we wish they had a bright future. For that reason,
children
should be able to manifest what they want and know what duties they are going to have in return. So, it is
preferably
Change the word
preferable
show examples
that
children
make a decision about
classes
in their school schedule on their own. Basically, people, belonging to
this
side, propose that
children
should decide what to study by their selves. In
this
case,
children
who want to learn
art
classes
can pick them.
However
, if they do not want to study it,
such
children
should be allowed to skip these
classes
.
On the other hand
, there is an opinion that
while
children
are small, they might not know what exactly is and will be important in their lives.
Due to
this
fact, it is vital to provide
children
with a wide spectrum of knowledge and abilities. So that by the time they become adults,
children
will have already gained all skills to start a career in any field they want. So,
art
, drama and music
classes
must
also
be included in the school curriculum.
Consequently
, I stand for the second opinion and I believe that it is necessary to give
children
all the basic knowledge
that is
possible, including
art
, drama and music
classes
.
To sum up
, there are different opinions concerning
this
topic and there is truth in each
of
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apply
show examples
the
sides
Fix the agreement mistake
side
show examples
. Though I suppose that
such
classes
must be included in the school curriculum.
Submitted by dulskywork on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • recidivism
  • vocational training
  • rehabilitation
  • reformation
  • reintegration
  • dissuade
  • systemic factors
  • educational programs
  • crime deterrent
  • post-release employment
  • upskilling
  • social reintegration
  • stigma
  • holistic approach
  • socioeconomic factors
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