Studies have shown that most criminals have low levels of education. Because of this many believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate prisoners so they can get a job after being released. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#studies #criminals #levels #education #crime #prisoners #job

Compulsory education is one of the main concerns people have. Particularly, many doubt whether it is important to

art

, drama and music

classes

in the curriculum.

While

some people might argue on

this

topic, I personally believe that it is important to make

such

classes

a part of every child’s education. Those, who say that

such

classes

must be optional,

also

claim that

children

should be able to use one of their basic rights,

that is

, to

speek

Correct your spelling

speak

freely. Taking into consideration a child’s opinion is critically necessary

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

if we wish they had a bright future. For that reason,

children

should be able to manifest what they want and know what duties they are going to have in return. So, it is

preferably

Change the word

preferable

show examples

that

children

make a decision about

classes

in their school schedule on their own. Basically, people, belonging to

this

side, propose that

children

should decide what to study by their selves. In

this

case,

children

who want to learn

art

classes

can pick them.

However

, if they do not want to study it,

such

children

should be allowed to skip these

classes

On the other hand

, there is an opinion that

while

children

are small, they might not know what exactly is and will be important in their lives.

Due to

this

fact, it is vital to provide

children

with a wide spectrum of knowledge and abilities. So that by the time they become adults,

children

will have already gained all skills to start a career in any field they want. So,

art

, drama and music

classes

must

also

be included in the school curriculum.

Consequently

, I stand for the second opinion and I believe that it is necessary to give

children

all the basic knowledge

that is

possible, including

art

, drama and music

classes

To sum up

, there are different opinions concerning

this

topic and there is truth in each

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

sides

Fix the agreement mistake

side

show examples

. Though I suppose that

such

classes

must be included in the school curriculum.

Submitted by dulskywork on Mon Apr 24 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

330 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

recidivism
vocational training
rehabilitation
reformation
reintegration
dissuade
systemic factors
educational programs
crime deterrent
post-release employment
upskilling
social reintegration
stigma
holistic approach
socioeconomic factors

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Studies have shown that most criminals have low levels of education. Because of this many believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate prisoners so they can get a job after being released. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Learning a language is in childhood is important? Discuss.

Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others; however, believed that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both views and give your opinion

For some people, learning in a group is the most effective method while others prefer one-on-one instruction. Discuss both ideas. What is your opinion?

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