Some people rely too much on doctors instead of taking care of their own health. They think all health problems can just be "fixed" by visiting doctors. What problems could this approach to healthcare cause and how might they be solved?

#people #doctors #care #health #approach #healthcare

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First of all, I think one of the reasons that cause

this

Linking Words

problem is because of their lack of knowledge. Some

people

Use synonyms

might not know what may cause a disease or they may not know what to do when they are sick, so they end up visiting doctors

instead

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try

Change the verb form

trying

show examples

to find a way

their

Change preposition

on their

show examples

own. I suggest

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

making some commercials about disease or how we can deal

Change preposition

with it

show examples

and

post

Wrong verb form

posting

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

on bus stops or train stops.

This

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can help

people

Use synonyms

to learn what

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

should do when

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

get sick.

Secondly

Linking Words

, another reason that

cause

Change the verb form

causes

show examples

this

Linking Words

problem is because of their bad diet or lifestyle. Some

people

Use synonyms

may

having

Change the verb form

have

be having

show examples

a diet

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a bad and not healthy way.

For example

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, they may refuse to eat and

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

only one meal a day.

Also

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, some

people

Use synonyms

may have a bad lifestyle.

For example

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, they may always

eating

Change the verb form

eat

be eating

show examples

junk food

instead

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of eating a proper meal.

However

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, these bad habits will make them sick and end up seeing a doctor. I suggest that maybe we can help a lesson teaching

people

Use synonyms

having a good and healthy diet and lifestyle,

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also

Correct word choice

and also

show examples

learn how to take care

theirselfs

Correct your spelling

their selfs

themself

so they won't get sick easily. In conclusion, most

people

Use synonyms

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

rely too much on doctors mostly is because of their lack of knowledge. They didn't know how to care

theirselfs

Correct your spelling

their selfs

themself

properly, so I think we should find a way to teach them how.

For example

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, held a lesson or make some commercials. So that they can learn to take care of their own health.

Submitted by soumya.krishnamurthy on Mon Apr 24 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

263 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Dependency
Personal responsibility
Healthcare
Doctors
Over-reliance
Delayed diagnoses
Missed diagnoses
Excessive reliance
Medical procedures
Healthcare costs
Proactive steps
Education
Awareness programs
Primary healthcare services
Preventive healthcare
Chronic conditions
Collaborating
Personalized health plans
Self-care

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Some people rely too much on doctors instead of taking care of their own health. They think all health problems can just be "fixed" by visiting doctors. What problems could this approach to healthcare cause and how might they be solved?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Human activities have negative effects on the plant and animal species. Some people think it is too late to do anything about this problem. Others believe that effective measures can be taken to improve this question. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, leisure and work activities. To what extent do the benefits of information technology outweigh the disadvantages?

Most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economic development, but many important social values can be lost as a result. Do the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

Employers should give their staff at least a 4- week holiday a year to make employees better at their jobs. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Many people aim to achieve a balance between work and other parts of lives, but few people achieve it. What are the causes of the problem? How to overcome it?