IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Cycling is more environmentally friendly than other forms of transport. Why it is not popular in many places? And how to increase its popularity?

#forms #transport #places #popularity
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It is apparent that riding a bicycle, which is supposed to be the most habitually congenial amongst men, is becoming a controversial topic.
This
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 essay will discuss reasons why people do not prefer to travel by bike and some measures will be recommended to improve
this
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 situation.
To begin
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 with, the two significant excuses are the inconvenience and the unsafety of driving a bicycle. Perhaps the major cause why residents rather use other means to travel is that it takes extremely much time and energy.
For example
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, the average speed of cycling is ten kilometres per hour, which is quite slow compared to driving a car or motorbike, and the driver spends at least one hundred calories for four kilometres of riding.
Additionally
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, bike users are seriously vulnerable when using the same road as other transports. When cyclists intend to take a turn without carelessness, they are easily conflicted. Some possible solutions which can be carried out to mitigate these drawbacks and motivate inhabitants to use bikes are constructing facilities prioritizing bikers and encouraging civilians to buy accessories for pedal travellers.
Firstly
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, officials should lay out plans which are correlated with bridge construction, biker-prioritized lanes and underground roads, it may help to lower the volume of transport on the road at the same time.
As a result
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, the number of accidents may be reduced.
Besides
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, States can spread information on the necessity of environmental protection through public media which can raise awareness of the negative impacts of fuel or fossil-consuming vehicles.
Consequently
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, there are likely several positive changes in people's perspective on travelling by bike
instead
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 of car or motorbike. In conclusion, despite bikes’ positive impact on the environment, it is still not uncommon in many places recently,
however
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, it can still be changed thanks to the government’s actions.
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coherence cohesion
Try to structure your essay more logically by clearly separating your ideas into distinct paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea supported by examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, which is good. However, make sure the conclusion summarizes the main points of the essay effectively and clearly.
task achievement
Include a wider range of examples to support your points. Relevant, specific examples make your argument stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay completely responds to all parts of the task. Address each question fully and provide a balanced discussion where required.
task achievement
Focus on clarity and precision in presenting your ideas. Use clear and direct sentences to convey your points effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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