IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to so much information creates problems. Which point of view do you agree with?

#people #internet #information #access #point
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
actually,
this
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 topic is very complicated. As we see that the
internet
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 became an important part of our daily life. We use it in almost everything in our days, we
comunicate
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communicate
 with others
,
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apply
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 and keep in touch with our friends and family.
Althought
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Although
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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,
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Internet
Add an article
the Internet
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 likes anything, it has
pors
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pros
 and cons. One of
it's
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its
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pors
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ports
 that, if we can't
limite
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limit
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time
Correct article usage
the time
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 of
useing
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using
 it, we will west our
time
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 and lose our
focsing
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focusing
.
Moreover
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, for the kids, if they spend too much
time
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 on the
internet
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in
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apply
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playing or watching videos, For sure,
this
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 will affect
on
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apply
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them in school and affect
on
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apply
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their grades.
However
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, if we and our kid
learend
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learn
 how to use
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internet
Add an article
the internet
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, we will have a very good source of information about everything. I can remember
cleary
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clearly
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 that, when I was in
collage
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college
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, my
professore
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professor
professors
 asked me to make
a
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apply
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research about "The Anatomy Of Horse" , I can't imagine how I could do that without
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Correct your spelling
Internet
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. The
informationts
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information
 that I got from
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Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
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Internet
show examples
 were more than enough, it would be so hard for me to go to the
liberary
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library
 and try to find books about that topic. I feel that we are lucky more than the old generations who didn't use
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
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, as we have a magic key to anything in just one click.
Linking Words
At
Change the preposition
In
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 the end, I totally agree with
useing
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using
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Correct article usage
the internet
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internet
Correct your spelling
Internet
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 as a source of
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
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 about anything, if we can
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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check
what
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the kind of
informations
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information
pieces of information
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that
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apply
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our kids got it from
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Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Correct your spelling
Internet
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,
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also
Correct word choice
and also
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 if we can
limite
Correct your spelling
limit
 the
time
Use synonyms
 that we spend
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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on the
Use synonyms
internet
Correct your spelling
Internet
show examples
.
Submitted by dr.engymagdy90 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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