IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Fresh water has become a golbal problem for the world.What are the causes of it? what meaaures government and individual should take to resolve to the problem? Give reasons and e.g for your answers

Presently, it is an important issue to shortage
drink
Use synonyms
water
Use synonyms
 for the
worl
Correct your spelling
world
population
Use synonyms
. There are many causes of it. Government and
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 should cooperate to solve the trouble. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss and provide relevant answers to the questions.
Use synonyms
Drink
Replace the word
Drinking
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 is the most essential
recourse
Correct your spelling
resource
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 human being's life. Humans can not live without
water
Use synonyms
. Nowadays majority of the
people
Use synonyms
 find it difficult to use fresh
water
Use synonyms
 in order to be
shortage
Replace the word
short
show examples
 over the world.
As a result
Linking Words
, it causes serious illnesses and poverty.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 suffer from
disease
Add an article
the disease
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the
show examples
African
population
Use synonyms
 languish in
shortage
Correct article usage
a shortage
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
drink
Change the verb form
drinking
show examples
water
Use synonyms
. In
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
this
show examples
 case, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 even children died
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
without fresh
water
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 authorities and individuals should work to resolve the problem together. Governments ought to teach
Use synonyms
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 how to save
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
water
Use synonyms
. They should use television, journals newspapers and internet sites to provide necessary information to the
population
Use synonyms
. Individuals should cooperate with
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 to improve the situation. They should not waste of the
Use synonyms
drink
Change the verb form
drinking
show examples
water
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 live in urban areas. We know that
people
Use synonyms
 who inhabit
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cities utilize more
water
Use synonyms
 and waste
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them. They should reduce to use
Use synonyms
water
Change preposition
of water
show examples
 All in all, we can give many examples because of reducing fresh
water
Use synonyms
 .
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 and individuals ought to work together to relieve the situation.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sustainability
  • Irrigation
  • Water scarcity
  • Contaminants
  • Desalination
  • Drought
  • Water conservation
  • Aquifers
  • Water footprint
  • Rainwater harvesting
What to do next:
Look at other essays: