The two pie charts compare the different sources on which children charity in the USA had spend and received money in the year 2016.

The two pie charts compare the different sources on which children charity in the USA had spend and received money in the year 2016.
In 2016, the
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
charity have
recive diffrent
Correct your spelling
received different
incomes
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, in
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
two comparative graphs
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
represented
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
what they take or spend.
Overall
, the charts are
diveden
Correct your spelling
divided
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
what they
recive
Correct your spelling
receive
and what
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
spend. Comparing how the money is
divenden
Correct your spelling
divided
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
their needs and the
percentage
that they consider to
evrey
Correct your spelling
every
asspect
Correct your spelling
aspect
. The things that they
recive
Correct your spelling
receive
are vital to the charity because are things
such
as donated food, community contributions,
donations
from the
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
, and others. It's an expensive program
nevertheless
, they have more ingress
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
what they spend. In the revenue
sources
Add a comma
,sources
show examples
the
percentage
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
a little in
disporpotion
Correct your spelling
distortion
disproportion
due to
the food
donations
are
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
massive because is of 86.6% and,
then
the other sources start at ten
percentage
and
dicrease
Correct your spelling
decrease
.
Although
, they have
Correct article usage
a varity
show examples
varity
Correct your spelling
variety
of sources
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
example, community
donations
, government grants, program revenue, etc. In the
expeditures
Correct your spelling
expenditures
expenditure
chart.
it's
Unnecessary verb
it
show examples
represent
Correct subject-verb agreement
represents
show examples
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
factors. The highest number that we can see is the
incomes
Fix the agreement mistake
income
show examples
that they put
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
the programs services
Change to a genitive case
the program's services
the services of the program
show examples
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
95.8%. Leaving
managment
Correct your spelling
management
and general with 1.6% and 2.6% fundraising. Meanwhile, the
percentage
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
very
opposites
Fix the agreement mistake
opposite
show examples
the total of spend is $53,224,896 and the
incomes
Fix the agreement mistake
income
show examples
is $53,561,580 so the
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
charity programs as a big cost but it's
afforable
Correct your spelling
affordable
due to
the
donations
.
Submitted by patriciareyesfiguero on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "due to".
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, donations with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "represented" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • charitable organization
  • non-profit sector
  • financial allocation
  • philanthropy
  • government subsidies
  • individual contributors
  • fundraising activities
  • expenditure breakdown
  • financial transparency
  • budgetary constraints
  • donor base
  • revenue streams
  • fiscal responsibility
  • overheads
  • sustainability
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