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Writing Samples
Band 7

The given charts give information about the number of students at university in the UK from 1991 to 2001, government spending and the types of family economic background they came from in 1991.

The given charts give information about the number of students at university in the UK from 1991 to 2001, government spending and the types of family economic background they came from in 1991.
#information #students #university #uk #government #background
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The graphs illustrate the proportion of
students
Use synonyms
depends
Wrong verb form
depending
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 on family economic background, how many
students
Use synonyms
 are studying at university in the UK and the government spending on every student.
Overall
Linking Words
, the government and
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 put a lot of effort and money into
universities'
Change noun form
universities
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 education in 1991,
while
Linking Words
 the percentage of
students
Use synonyms
 attending university was still low.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the proportion of
students
Use synonyms
 by family economic background with middle income took the first place with 62% in 1991. The percentage of
students
Use synonyms
 in families with high income and low income
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 30% and 8% respectively.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the number of
students
Use synonyms
 at university in the UK increased significantly between 1991 and 1999, starting from 1000000
students
Use synonyms
 and
peaked
Wrong verb form
peaking
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 at 2100000
students
Use synonyms
 in 1999.
This
Linking Words
 number slightly decreased from 2100000 to 2000000 in the next 3 years.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the amount of government spending on each student dropped sharply from 6500 pounds to around 4800 pounds between 1991 and 1996.
This
Linking Words
 amount was almost unchanged from 1996 to 2001.
Submitted by dotien.st on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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