IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that men and women have difference qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?21:10/-strong/-heart:>:o:-((:-hĐã nhậnXem trước khi gửiThả Files vào đây để xem lại trước khi gửiTrả lời Some people think that men and women have difference qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

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Some people believe that
men
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 and
women
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 all have a difference in qualities, so certain
jobs
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 are suitable for
men
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 others.
This
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 writer completely disagree with
this
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 statement because
women
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 can do everything that
men
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 can do and
women
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 more carefully than man In 21 century,
women
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 are more strength and the fact thay they can earn money by them self .
Jobs
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 that
men
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 can do,
women
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 can do that too. Because the biggest difference between
men
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 and
women
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 is sexes, so not any reason for
women
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 can’t do any
jobs
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.
Moreover
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, we have many talented and excellent
women
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 like Marie Currie, she had found radium with lots of others invention. She
also
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 achieved Nobel award for her dedication. Another reason is almost
women
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 are more careful and clever than
men
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. With the same
jobs
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 they can do better than man like doctor, business or others career. We can see in the world, at many countries
women
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 play an important role like Queen Elizabeth II, Queen Victoria, Queen Marie Antonette all of them are
women
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 who have big impact on country. Talk about courage,
women
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 don’t lose any
men
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. In Vietnam war, a lot of girls just only 16-18, they have to go destroy bomb for army can move safety and turning to soldiers, they can fight and dead for their country anytime All in all,
women
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 can do everything like man in
jobs
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 or other things not depend on qualities. In modern era,
women
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 are equal with
men
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,
women
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 can do any work without
men
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.21:05/-strong/-heart:>:o:-((:-h

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Task Achievement
Ensure your essay introduction clearly outlines your view on the topic, enabling the reader to understand your stance from the beginning.
Task Achievement
Expand your conclusion to effectively summarize your arguments and restate your position, offering a reflective viewpoint on the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your essay by clearly organizing your ideas into paragraphs with specific themes, and use transitional phrases to connect these ideas smoothly.
Task Achievement
Provide more detailed examples and evidence to support your points, ensuring they directly relate to your arguments and enhance the reader's understanding of your stance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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