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Band 5.5

Nowadays, the trend of relocating living countries was more popular, then at past times.

#trend #countries #times
Nowadays, the trend of relocating living
countries
 was more popular,
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
 times.
For example
,
commission
Add an article
a commission
the commission
show examples
 of international immigration of
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 registered 5 hundred thousand official immigrants, how much unofficial no one knew. Why does
this
 happen, someone can ask a question. Let's talk about that.
First
Add an article
A first
show examples
 possible reason,
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
because
Correct word choice
that
show examples
people
 want to find
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
. To be honest, a great number of
people
 are not satisfied
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the place where they
work
, and there are many points why they hate them. One man because he does not want to
work
 there,
other
Correct pronoun usage
another
show examples
 one because he hates to
work
 in his
country
.
For example
,
common
Correct article usage
the common
show examples
 salary is around 150 thousand
tenge
Change to a plural noun
tenges
show examples
, which is around 300 converting to dollars,
however
, in USA common salary is around 500 dollars,
this
 is
quite
Add an article
a quite
show examples
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
 difference, to be honest.
Second
Add an article
The second
show examples
 reason is relevant for
third world
Add a hyphen
third-world
show examples
countries
, it became impossible to live in your
country
 and you want to
immigrate
 to another
country
. So that you understand, there are
countries
, like SAR (Republic of South Africa), in which wars take place, and
people
 to save their
life
immigrate
 from
such
countries
 to safer places, like
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, France, and others.
To conclude
 everything,
people
immigrate
 for
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
life
, some
people
 because they want to earn a greater salary, someone want to save
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
life
, because in his native
country
 war broke out. So,
people
 mainly decide to
immigrate
 for
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
life
, and after that they decide by their heart, or something like that.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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