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Band 5.5

Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving a car or motorbike. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #road #safety #age #car #motorbike
People have different views about the solution to prevent
traffic
accident
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accidents
show examples
. Some people believe that the government should increase the minimum legal
age
 for driving vehicles. I am of the opinion that it is not
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best way. In
this
 essay, I will discuss
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
 and examples of my view. First of all,
traffic
accident
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accidents
show examples
 are not
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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triggered by young
age
 groups. Some types of accidents
cause
Change the form of the verb
caused
show examples
 by old
age
 groups rather than the young.
For example
, there are many
reasons
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 trigger
accident
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accidents
show examples
such
 as drinking
alchohol
Correct your spelling
alcohol
, tired condition and illegal driving. Especially, most
drivers
 should pay attention to tired
condition
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conditions
show examples
 regardless of
age
 as
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
every
age
 group can have that symptom.
Therefore
,
such
reasons
 are not related to the rider's
age
. On top of that, if the government want to decrease transport
accident
, the focus should be on reducing major
reasons
of
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for
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car
Add an article
a car
the car
show examples
accident
. There are many effective solutions to ease the
drivers
' burden and increase their caution on the road.
For instance
, constructing places to take a rest and rearranging
traffic
 systems can help
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
drivers
 move their vehicles safely. In terms of legal aspects, the government can give more
fine
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fines
show examples
 to
drivers
 when they did not follow the laws. For these
reasons
, there are more appropriate ways to minimize
traffic
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
show examples
. In conclusion, I think increasing the minimum
age
 is not a proper solution to prevent
traffic
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
show examples
 as
traffic
 accidents can not
caused
Change the verb form
be caused
show examples
 only by the young
age
 group and there are more effective solutions in terms of individual and legal aspects.
Submitted by jjhtoki on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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